fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
