question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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