8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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