I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
