Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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