I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize