okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
