Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
