quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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