i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
