What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
