hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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