So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
