...so i touched it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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