I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do vagina's smell?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
