PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize