when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize