I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
