Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i think i just lost a toe
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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