I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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