I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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