that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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