After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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