I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
