dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize