I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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