just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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