what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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