Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize