Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
