i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
