I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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