Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
