Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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