we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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