Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
