First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
