He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nicole vs. Life
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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