I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
