If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hippo gnu deer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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