He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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