Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
