you win again, gameday.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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