Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it glows. i had to have it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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