So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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