your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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