They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
