what if every blade of grass was a penis?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
