okay pat passed out under dana's car
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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