I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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