Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize