Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My balls are so social today.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
