I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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