thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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