I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
