If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My dick has a subreddit
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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