yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she smelled like a LAN party
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
