I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
