I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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