You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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