16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
