i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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