We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
