This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
