Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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