I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
