Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
