Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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