new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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