AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How's work?
Spinning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
